Already Irritated

["Classic" Kris Cage]

The scene opens with the cameras panning over a packed arena, filled to the brim with fans, chattering among themselves. There's no action happening within the ring-not yet at least. Fans are patiently waiting for the event to start, keeping themselves entertained. Suddenly, the peace is disturbed when Shinedown's "Devour" begins blaring over the P.A. system. The fans instantly cease whatever it was they were doing and turn their full attention to the titantron. Suddenly the fans erupt in a hail of jeers as out walks LP's Kris Cage onto the entrance ramp, many of the fans recognizing "The Classic" from other wrestling promotions. Cage remains on the titantron stage, scanning the new crowd before him, a slightly frustrated look on his face. He finally is seen sighing heavily as he makes his way down the ramp. Fans continue to voice their opinion of Kris Cage as he rolls under the ropes, making his way into the center of the ring. His music eventually dies out, Cage lifting a mic to his lips, only to be drown out by the fans before he can even mutter a word. He patiently waits for the fans to grow tired, his frustrated look only intensifying. Finally, they quiet down enough for Kris to speak

-"Classic" Kris Cage-
For those who may not know, my name is Kristopher Cage, and I am your headlining superstar here in the Legendary Pro promotion.....

The fans once again begin to boo him, obviously not agreeing with Cage's high opinion of himself

-"Classic" Kris Cage-
Being the high profile star that I am, I demand to be treated as such, and already I've noticed numerous, numerous errors back in the back that I cannot just let alone. I need to address them and I demand that management do something about this, or I will proceed to be very upset. For one, I've already noticed that the promotion has mistaken some street tramps for beautiful talented ladies. Although others like the Frenzy's may not mind this little screw up, I for one have a major complaint with it. I don't want to be in a locker room where I run the risk of accidentally catching something from sitting on a toilet seat. My body is a temple, even though others may not feel the same.

Cage takes the moment to gather his thoughts, scratching at his facial hair before continuing to speak

-"The Classic" Kris Cage-
Speaking of my temple, I've noticed some talent- I won't name names- that I found them smoking in the back. Now do you know what this means?

Cage holds up his left hand, showing the back of it to the camera. There is a red design in the shape of an 'X' tattooed on the back of his hand. He slaps the back of his hand twice as he gets an almost smug look on his face before lowering his hand and once again continuing

-"The Classic" Kris Cage-
That means I live a straight edge lifestyle, and encase your tiny inbred minds still don't know what that means, it means that I have sworn off drugs, alcohol, and any other toxins lesser beings decide to contaminate their bodies with. These being my beliefs, I demand that you, management, do something about this, or I will, once again, continue to be very unhappy. Look, we've got a lot of things to cover like the lack of bathroom attendants, or the fact I don't have my own private locker room, or my own parking space, so before I continue any further, I'd like if someone from management could come out here so that we can discuss this.

Cage now lowers his mic, the fans taking the opportunity to remind Cage what they think of him. Cage simply ignores it as he keeps his attention focused on the titantron, patiently waiting for someone to answer his call.

-TBC- Anyone-

[David Gunn/Alston Baptist]

~A Millie Busts on the PA System in the Ballroom. Everyone goes insane David Gunn is in the Building. slowly the Ex-EHWF World Champion walks out from behind the curtain the Smoke flowing out slowly he stops and smiles looking around he reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a white stick and smells it and shows it to the crowd. Slowly David walks down the Steps that mark the end on the Entrance way and walks to the ring. Slowly he pops up onto the Apron edge and looks in at Kris. He gets in and grabs a mic and looks too the Crowd chanting "Smoke That Bitch! Smoke That Bitch! Smoke That Bitch!" David looks at Kris and smiles showing him the white stick again~

David Gunn

want a joint? So your pissed that smokers are able to smoke and the Drinkers are able to Drink but your not able to fuck... I mean were on Ion Television we have a small ass Deal... we have some money and we haven't had our First show and your still bitching...

~David whipes his mouth and looks at Kris crooked and raises the mic up~

David Gunn

Because you don't have a Locker room your bitching... Go get a hotel room... You have no parking space your bitching? take a train... and because you can't take a piss without someone watching then boo who for you... were breaking new ground here and the idea that your a "Headlining Superstar" is really dumb because the True Headlining Superstar is Me David "I was and will be you top champion again" Gunn... yea I know that Nickname is long so just call me champ

~David walks backwards and sits on the Turnbuckle and watches Kris stand there. He was one of those hardedge guys always trying to enforce his life on everyone~

["Classic" Kris Cage]

Kris stands there, staring blankly at David Gunn. His facial expression soon shows that Cage has grown annoyed towards the individual before him. He once again begins stroking his facial hair, not taking his eyes off David, gathering his thoughts. Finally he raises his mic back up to his lips

-"Classic" Kris Cage-
Well "champ", although I wasn't really expecting- or wanting- for someone like you to come out, I'm glad you did. You see Mr. Gunn, I know more about you than you know. You are a former EHWF World Champion am I right? Well I to, am a former EHWF World Champ. Now I know me and you have never had a match, hell, we've never even been in the same building, let alone the same ring before now. But I already know I'm better than you. How? Like I mentioned before we are both former EHWF champions. But you see, after I did some homework, I learned that it was Scorpion who defeated you for the EHWF World Title. The funny thing is though...I beat Scorpion for the EHWF Title. I beat a man you couldn't David. Not to mention the only reason you won that belt was because I had left the company for a short time, but I digress.

Cage takes a moment to push his hair out of his face before continuing once more

-"Classic" Kris Cage-
But that's just one example of many of how I'm much much better than you David. As I said once, and will proudly say again, my body is my temple, and I keep it that way by living my straightedge lifestyle. See, these fans cheer for you David because you are on their level. You're nothing more than a beer swelling, pot smoking, piece of trash. I don't want your damn joint because I'm better than that. I'm better than all these people in these seats, I'm better than the gaggle of no talents in the back, and that's a simple fact. I'm not going to take a train, or stay in a hotel, because I'm simply better than that. I'm simply the best here. I'm simply, Classic.

The fans instantly erupt into a hail of jeers and boos, taking exception to Cage's words about them and David. Cage waits for David to reply, but decides not to give him the chance to spew out more nonsense

-"Classic" Kris Cage-
Now, Gunn, if you please, head back to the back, because I'm done with you. I'm done wasting my breath on you, and I'm quite simply just sick of looking at your sad burn out ass, and I would like if someone from management would please come out here so that I may actually have a conversation with someone worth my time.

Cage once again lowers his mic, turning his attention away from David and back to the titantron entrance, once again patiently waiting
TBC- David or anyone

[{([J f'n T])}]

Then, the lights just suddenly go out. The fans are making a lot of noise to the event, and David Gunn and Kris Cage are looking around scared and stupified. Then, Justin Taker's titantron and theme music is played.



"Gets Me Through" by Ozzy Osbourne plays, and after the eerie piano beginning and the shutting door (30 seconds into the song), Justin Taker walks out onto the ramp to an explosion of cheers for the former EHWF legend and owner himself. He has a microphone in his right hand and starts to speak from the ramp.

Justin Taker
David Gunn, leave the ring and head backstage. Now.

He watched Gunn leave the ring and head backstage at the orders of his boss. JT pats David on the back as he walks by and starts walking up the ramp himself and is talking while doing so.

Justin Taker
Kris, I accepted you into this company to wrestle and make some money for me so I can sign your paycheck every week. Not to complain. Now...

JT walks up the steel steps and climbs over the ropes and into the ring before speaking again.

Justin Taker
Now, what is it that you would like to say? You asked for management, you got the head of management. Say what you will now or forever hold your piss and never be allowed to use the bathrooms here again.

The fans laugh at that little comment and JT waits for Kris Cage to reply to him.

TBC: Cage/Anyone